|
|
Post by Val on Oct 7, 2020 16:37:47 GMT
Concern weighed heavily on Caspian as he watched Roman emerge from the tub, clearly still lost in the dark recesses of his mind. It was disheartening to realize that his attempts at subduing the demons were not enough; he needed to try harder, to be enough for Roman in every conceivable way. He accepted Roman’s hand ardently and rose from the tub, stepping carefully into the growing puddle that they had formed on the bathroom floor. He could sense Roman’s urgency to keeping moving, but he took the time to grab a towel and dry Roman off before tending to himself. When Roman finally spoke again, he looked up and listened attentively, finally getting some insight into the chaos that was dominating Roman’s attention. The distraught questions caused sadness to start to creep in on Caspian again, but he quickly shut it out, refusing to let it weigh him down.
“You can’t live by what ifs,” he replied gently, closing the small distance between them. He took Roman’s hand and pressed it against his chest, holding it there firmly as a way to ground him back to the present- to him, “All we can do is live in the present. You don’t need to leave everything behind; learn from it, grow from it, but don’t dwell in it. Make choices as they come, like you did today. You chose to stay,” Caspian reminded him, “And we’re okay,” he promised. It was impossible for Caspian to have all the answers, but what he did have was hope for the future, and he was willing to share that with Roman and be the guiding light in the tough road ahead.
Before Roman had a chance to object to his advice, he laced their fingers and guided him out of the bathroom and down the hall. By the time they reached the bedroom, a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders; finally, they could put the events of the hectic day behind them and simply be with each other. Caspian wanted his sanctuary to become Roman’s- a place where they could enjoy each other’s company without the pressing threats of the world bearing down on them. What Roman planned to do going forward was still a mystery, but Caspian’s home would always be a haven for him to retreat from the turmoil.
After confirming that his racoon friend had vacated the room, he kicked the door shut and urged Roman toward the bed. Caspian settled onto the edge of the mattress and curled his fingers at the backs of Roman’s thighs, drawing him closer. His eyes carved a slow path upwards, taking in every available inch of the man in all his glory. Despite the dark secrets that he knew lurked beneath the surface, his admiration for Roman was limitless in all regards. Caspian could see the good in all things, and Roman was no exception.
“Make love to me.” It was a request, but one open to Roman’s interpretation. They still had much to learn about each other, but he longed to put Roman at ease in that moment- mind, body, and soul. Reigniting the passion between them seemed like an obvious way to free their minds and confirm their love for each other.
Caspian gazed up at him expectantly, desire pooling in his expressive eyes. He couldn’t help but think back to the last time they had shared his bed, the memory and sensations vivid despite the fact that they had both been intoxicated. They deserved to revel in their intimacy now, uninhibited by alcohol and the uncertainty of their relationship. They were in this together and, although Caspian was beginning to understand the dangers that would come of his association with Roman, he was committed to making things work, and he trusted that Roman would do the same.
|
|
|
|
Post by starrea on Oct 9, 2020 4:23:41 GMT
If there was one thing that was true in this world, it was that Roman did not deserve Caspian. Roman knew it so deeply that he felt it in his bones, felt it swim in his veins, felt it seep out of every pore. Staring into Caspian's hopeful gaze only made the weight of his past increase tenfold; Caspian didn't know a fraction of the atrocities Roman had committed. Even with a cause, Roman was undeserving of recognition. Would Caspian still look at him like that if he knew that Roman had ordered the massacre of an entire village - one hundred and thirty eight men, women, and children? Would Caspian still look at him like that if he knew that Roman had executed innocent civilians? Would Caspian still think everything would be okay once he found out that Roman still reported, albeit infrequently, to the shadow organization that had raised him to be the man he was today? The questions all lingered on Roman's tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to ask any of them because if there was one other truth in this world, it was that Roman was too selfish to let Caspian go.
As Caspian worked on drying him, Roman marveled at the person Caspian was. Most of Caspian's prominent traits were ones that Roman had been raised to be believe were weaknesses; compassion, empathy, kindness, and peaceful. Except, those were all of the characteristics that made Caspian strong, stronger than Roman could ever hope to be. Caspian had seen right through Roman, had seen the brokenness in him even when he couldn't see it himself. He had stayed through every attempt Roman made to push him away and he wordlessly accepted him when he came crawling back. He comforted him through every breakdown, and believed in him even when he wasn't worth believing in. And now, Caspian was here, in love with him, willing to help Roman put himself back together piece by piece. Caspian was everything right in the world that didn't have a lot of right left in it, and that was worth protecting.
Roman wordlessly followed Caspian, leaving all thoughts of guilt and self-hatred at the door. As soon as he stepped through the threshold into Caspian's bedroom, his emotional turmoil was replaced by an insatiable desire to show Caspian how much he loved him. His eyes raked down Caspian's naked body, lustfully appreciating his ruggedness. The request had hardly left Caspian's mouth when Roman bent over, capturing Caspian's lips in a hungry kiss. He put a hand on Caspian's chest, guiding him back and without breaking the kiss, Roman laid Caspian back on the bed and climbed on top of him. Roman descended upon Caspian, covering every bit of the other man with himself until there was no space between them. He wasted no time in grinding his hips up against Caspian, letting him feel how hard he made him.
Roman broke the kiss only to drag his lips down to Caspian's neck, his teeth gently nipping at his skin as he trailed kisses downwards. One hand snaked its way down Caspian's body and he shifted just enough to allow his hand to wrap around Caspian's member, running his thumb over the tip before letting his fingers trail down to the base and then back up again. His memory played back how Caspian had used his mouth and Roman pressed himself up against Caspian's member, moaning into the kiss. They had barely touched and Roman was already on the edge, ready to come.
Just feeling Caspian made him woozy with desire and he pulled himself away from Caspian's neck before he lost himself, "What do you want? Tell me what you want, and I'll do it," Roman asked, his voice low with desire. As soon as the words were out, his lips went back to Caspian's neck, leaving a trail of dark hickeys in their wake. Now that he was touching Caspian, kissing Caspian, he couldn't stop himself. He needed Caspian's touch, his love, his acceptance and he was done denying himself, even if he was undeserving. As much as he wanted to lose himself in the moment and indulge himself in all the sinful pleasures Caspian had to offer, he wanted to make Caspian feel even better. Roman was still inexperienced but Caspian gave him the confidence and if Caspian still managed to faithfully trust him, then the least Roman could do was show him how grateful he was.
|
|
|
|
Post by Val on Oct 13, 2020 23:33:19 GMT
Watching the distress recede from Roman’s eyes and be replaced with desire was all Caspian could have asked for. He felt like he could finally breathe again and enjoy Roman’s company without the intense storm clouds looming over their heads. The moment strengthened his resolve and Caspian vowed to himself that he would do everything in his power to keep Roman in the present and ultimately save him from his past.
Caspian was trembling with need as he fell back onto the bed, and Roman did not disappoint. There was no greater feeling than Roman’s delicious weight bearing down on him, covering every inch of his body. A soft groan escaped him when their lips parted, and he was met with the obvious fact that they were both fully aroused. He arched his neck to the side to provide access for Roman’s exploring lips and attempted to reach between them, but Roman beat him to it. He drew in a sharp breath as Roman stroked him and finally submitted to the fact that Roman seemed intent on pleasuring him.
Caspian closed his eyes and allowed himself to become lost in the sensations as Roman permeated all his senses. The prying words reached him through the cloud of euphoria, and he hesitated. His first instinct was to express that he wanted Roman to do as he wished. Caspian was a giver in all aspects and found the greatest satisfaction in seeing to his partner’s needs. However, he could sense that Roman wanted to turn the tables this time, and he’d be damned to deny him that opportunity. Besides, the prospect of having Roman’s full and undivided attention was sinfully tempting, and he knew exactly what he wanted.
Roman’s mouth was working absolute magic across his skin, and Caspian needed more of it. Struggling to put his desires into words, he instead placed his hands upon Roman’s shoulders and pressed, urging him further down his body. Once Roman was hovering over his waist, Caspian reached down and touched himself, moving his hand slowly from base to tip. His gaze was locked with Roman’s, communicating through a simple, imploring look; he wanted to feel Roman’s mouth around him.
“I want you.” The words were unnecessary, but he needed Roman to know that he trusted him and that he was enough. Despite what Roman might’ve thought about his abilities in bed, Caspian was absolutely floored by him and there was no conceivable reason for hesitation. If anything, their combined inexperience allotted plenty of reason for exploration, and that was something that Caspian was looking forward to.
|
|
|
|
Post by starrea on Oct 19, 2020 0:26:15 GMT
Something shifted in their relationship and the balance of their relationship tipped towards Caspian, something it hadn't done before. It was something that up until that moment, Roman wouldn't voluntarily let happen. Even when Caspian had remained silent after Roman's proclamation of love, Roman hadn't voluntarily submitted to the shift in power. Now, Roman was finally ready to yield to Caspian and explore all the blissful consequences that decision came with. The world around them melted away, and Roman focused on how hot Caspian's skin was and the way the man practically quivered with need below him. Seeing Caspian like this, naked and desperate for something only Roman could give him, made desire burn hot in the pit of Roman's stomach.
Roman was pliant to Caspian's touch and he allowed himself to be pushed down, but it wasn't until Caspian stroked himself that Roman realized what he wanted. For some odd reason, despite the fact that Caspian had gone down on him, Roman hadn't expected Caspian to ask this of him. His first reaction was to deny Caspian, but the refusal got stuck in his throat. His eyes focused on Caspian's member and the logical part of his mind took over, and he realized that Caspian physically wouldn't be able to fit without choking himself. Even if wasn't all the way in, Caspian's cock was thick and it would uncomfortably stretch his jaw. The task was daunting, and not like anything he had done before. Besides the looming physical discomfort, Roman had a profound aversion to bodily fluids and the thought of willingly putting his mouth on something so unsanitary was almost enough to make him go soft. The concept of kissing had always repulsed him, and despite his newfound addiction to kissing Caspian, he couldn't think about how unsanitary the practice was without getting nausea - and putting his mouth on Caspian's cock was far more unhygienic. Then, there was the crushing self-consciousness of his inexperience. What if I do it wrong? What if I'm bad at it? What if it isn't enough for him?
I want you. Caspian's affirmation resonated with Roman, giving him enough confidence and motivation to repress his obsessive compulsions. Caspian had already sacrificed for Roman, stayed by his side again and again despite Roman's volatile moods. Roman had already declared his love, but this would be the proof. Still, he didn't know what to do and his hesitation dragged on. Roman could feel the pressure mounting; he had condemned men to death with less thought than he was torturing himself with right now. Finally, Roman dropped to his knees, his face lined up with Caspian's hips. Without breaking eye contact, he leaned forward and experimentally dragged his tongue down Caspian's length.
It was every bit as gross as Roman had feared. Between his thoughts, the smell, and the texture, Roman had to physically resist the urge to retch. Roman strengthened his resolve, determined to give Caspian the pleasure he deserved. He forced himself to stop focusing on how he was basically licking bacteria, and instead tried to commit each and every detail of Caspian to memory. He opened his mouth and slowly took Caspian in, his hands wrapping around Caspian's legs to anchor himself. Roman had been right; his mouth was uncomfortably full, and Caspian was only a quarter or so of the way in. Roman slowly pulled back, gasping another breath of fresh air before he went back down on Caspian and pushed himself to take in a little more. He had to repeat the process a few more times, each time taking in a little more of Caspian, and slowly adjusted to Caspian's size and timing his breathing for when he pulled back.
Roman surprised himself with how quickly he adapted and he became increasingly bold in his attempts to please Caspian. He ran his tongue over Caspian's tip, his eyes flicking up to try and gauge whether he was doing a good job or not. He started to bob his head on Caspian's length, his tongue working the underside of Caspian's length as he sped up and took him in deeper. Everything was okay right up until the moment it wasn't; Roman had gotten cocky and took Caspian too deep, past his gag reflex, and found himself nearly choking on Caspian's cock. He abruptly pulled away, spluttering and heaving as the sense of urgency slowly faded.
"Sorry, I'm trying," Roman muttered sheepishly, embarrassed by his failure but undeterred. He took Caspian again in his mouth, coaching himself as he pushed himself to the limit. When he hit his gag reflex, Roman kept pushing. This time, his slow and precise movements allowed him retain control over his urge to retch, and he kept pushing until his face was pressed up against Caspian's stomach. This time, he was literally choking himself, his airways completely blocked off. He held that position for another several seconds before he pulled himself off, gasping down air.
This time, he moved too quickly when he took Caspian in and he felt his teeth graze his member. He cringed, trying to use his tongue to soothe whatever pain he had caused. Roman slowly adapted to the task and fell into a rhythm of sorts, settling on a moderate pace and using his tongue to enhance the experience. He wasn't sure what Caspian liked, but he hoped the other man realized that he was, at the very least, trying and he hoped that was enough.
|
|
|
|
Post by Val on Oct 20, 2020 20:15:56 GMT
Caspian didn’t understand the significance of his request until he witnessed Roman’s reaction. He watched the myriad of emotions flit across the man’s face; denial, uncertainty, fear, and even repulsion. Caspian abruptly stopped touching himself, wondering if his request was stepping over some invisible boundary that he had yet to discover. It dawned on him that they had failed to discuss comfort zones, which came as no surprise considering their first time together had been chaotic, to say the least. Now that they were committing to each other, it seemed necessary to be able to communicate their needs or likes and dislikes at the very least.
After watching Roman stare at his cock like it was going to jump out and bite him, he decided it was best to retract his request before things got any more uncomfortable. Caspian opened his mouth to assure him that they could try something else, but Roman’s tongue stopped the words before they could be uttered into existence. He sucked in a sharp breath and suppressed the urge to offer Roman an out, far too enthralled with the idea that Roman was going out of his way to please him. He held his breath as Roman tried again, this time taking him in his mouth. The gravity of the situation was not lost on Caspian and, although he felt the urge to flex his hips upwards, he forced himself to remain still beneath Roman’s hands as he tested the waters. The sensation alone was enough to send him spiraling with lust but combined with the knowledge that Roman was doing this purely for him was an entirely different experience. Caspian relaxed into the pillows and watched through half lidded eyes as Roman practiced and challenged himself, feeling as though the dynamic between them had been irreversibly changed through one simple act.
Caspian smiled softly as Roman apologized and reached down to stroke his fingers through the man’s dark hair encouragingly. It wasn’t until he reached the back of Roman’s throat that he realized he was getting close. An involuntary groan escaped him and he couldn’t help but arch his back, seeking more. Caspian had only experienced one other blowjob in his lifetime, back when he was struggling with his sexual identity. The girl had insisted and Caspian had struggled to even stay hard, making for an incredibly awkward encounter. This was an entirely different experience; Roman could have failed miserably and Caspian was sure he still would have been a trembling mess by the end of it. The graze of teeth was just about enough to send Caspian over the edge. He bolted upright and stared down at Roman, his breathing intensifying as he neared completion. “Yes, just like that,” he uttered breathlessly. He waited until the last moment to push Roman off of him, using his hand to finish himself off, “Fuck, Roman.” Caspian finally reached his climax and collapsed back onto the bed as tremors of pleasure wracked through his body. He stretched out and bathed in the euphoric aftermath, his worries fading away along with the dull ache of his wounded shoulder. He gazed up at Roman lazily, unable to suppress the pleased grin that was over taking his face.
Once he’d recovered, he leaned over the edge of the bed to retrieve the discarded bath towel, using it to clean his stomach of the evidence of his orgasm. He tossed the towel away and immediately sat up, reaching for Roman to press a firm kiss to his lips, “That was perfect,” he whispered, intent on giving Roman the affirmation he clearly needed. And to Caspian, it had been perfect. He leaned his forehead to Roman’s and gazed into his eyes, “You can tell me if you’re not comfortable with something,” he added quietly, massaging at Roman’s shoulders with deft fingers. Roman seemed to be able to maintain control and power over all aspects of his life but one. His insecurities in the bedroom were evident, but Caspian was yet again undeterred.
Caspian knew that he had to be the one to spark communication between them, so he took the leap in the hopes that it would reignite the confidence in Roman that he so desperately craved. He held eye contact, eyes honest and imploring, “I like when you…overpower me.” It was difficult to put his desires into words, but he was almost positive they wanted the same thing, and he knew that Roman would be able to catch on. His eyes were filled with anticipation as he waited for Roman to reinstate the natural balance between them, not caring what happened next so long as he got to witness Roman take whatever he desired from him.
|
|
|
|
Post by starrea on Oct 21, 2020 15:25:24 GMT
Roman wasn't prepared for Caspian to shove him off and he nearly toppled over backwards before he managed to catch himself. He panicked; up until that moment, he had been so sure he was doing a good job. He had reveled in the way Caspian's breathing had gone from steady to labored, feeling his muscles twitch beneath his fingers as he got closer but the unanticipated shove made him doubt his performance. He had lost himself in the rhythm of Caspian's breathless moans, completely forgetting about his previous aversion to what he was doing and finding him painfully turned on by the pleasure he was giving Caspian. His eyes sought Caspian's and it only took a second for Roman to realize what was happening, and the sense of gratification returned full force. It was immature, but he felt proud of himself, proud that he had done something so uncharacteristically selfless and triggering for someone he loved.
Roman was a captive audience as Caspian finished himself off, afraid to even blink for fear of missing a second of the show. The moment extended farther than pure sexual desire - in that moment, he was left astounded by how perfect Caspian was. He was a quintessential humanitarian, the best that their species had to offer. His beauty was encompassed so much more than his physique - his entire identity was beautiful. And knowing that, knowing that he was all Roman's, made him painfully aroused.
Caspian's culmination took Roman's breath away, leaving him frozen in place until Caspian reached for him. Roman readily met Caspian's lips, hungry with need and passion but Caspian pulled away far too soon. He was about to pout, about to connect their lips again, but Caspian's words slowed him. Caspian always knew what Roman needed to hear and his validations augmented his confidence tenfold. "I'm willing to try anything... to please you," Roman said, his voice low and breathless and completely serious. He was so hungry with need, so lost in the desire to prove to Caspian just how much he loved him, that he was willing to try whatever wild fantasies Caspian dreamed of. Caspian's next declaration sent a shot of electricity straight to Roman's cock, and the dynamics between them shifted again.
I like when you overpower me. It was all the permission Roman needed and he shot up from his position on the floor, roughly shoving Caspian back onto the bed and climbing on top of him. He melded their lips together, his lips rough and domineering against Caspian's. His teeth tugged at Caspian's lower lip, his bites growing more and more aggressive as he shoved his tongue into Caspian's mouth, overpowering him. One hand wound up into Caspian's hair, his fingers curling around his locks and yanking his head back to give Roman access to drag his lips down Caspian's jawline and to his neck, his teeth tugging roughly at the sensitive skin. He continued to assault Caspian's neck, trailing his kisses all the down to his collar bone before moving back up, determined to brand Caspian with his hickeys. The other hand grabbed Caspian's hand, forcefully pulling it his own cock and wrapping Caspian's finger around him. He gave Caspian's hand a squeeze, a silent command to use his hand to pleasure him, and then reached down to slowly fondle Caspian's half-flaccid cock.
He pulled away from Caspian's neck just far enough that his lips still brushed against his hot skin, "I like... having you at my mercy. I like bending you to my will for my pleasure, and I like to see you get off from pleasuring me," Roman whispered, tilting his head up to tug at Caspian's earlobe as his hand continued to gently caress him, "I like knowing that you're mine and only mine, and I'm the only one who can make you feel like this," Roman's touch got more rougher, squeezing Caspian uncomfortably hard. "I like causing you pain just as much as I like giving you pleasure," With one final squeeze, he released Caspian and let his fingers trail further back, a sign of what he wanted next.
|
|
|
|
Post by Val on Oct 26, 2020 2:20:26 GMT
As his provocative words officially broke the ice between them, Caspian bore witness to the fire igniting in Roman’s eyes. There was no need for anticipation because Roman was already on top of him and he could do nothing but surrender as his wish was granted. Roman wasn’t just overpowering; he was overwhelming. The aggressive nature of their kissing was enough to arouse Caspian all over again, leaving him an overstimulated mess as Roman continued his assault. The unexpected pull of his hair sent his head obediently backwards and more expletives escaped his lips, which were now free from Roman’s mouth. Caspian’s nails dug their way into Roman’s shoulder blades as reciprocation for the path that Roman’s teeth were carving mercilessly across his skin. He would undoubtedly be wearing the evidence of this night for many days to follow, but the thought only served to fill Caspian with a sense of satisfaction. He liked the idea of people knowing that they belonged to each other.
Caspian moved pliantly as Roman guided his hand to its ultimate destination. His hand stroked dutifully as he conjured up the intoxicated memories of their first time together. This time would be undoubtedly different, and he longed to commit the feeling of Roman inside of him to memory. Caspian’s hand disappeared momentarily as he raised his hand to his lips and wet his fingers before returning to Roman’s member. He’d barely made any ground before Roman took ahold of him, sending shockwaves through his body and forcing his hips upwards into Roman’s. He was still incredibly sensitive after his release and goosebumps officially flooded his skin as Roman gifted him with the dirty talk that he thought he’d only ever dream of.
“Mhm,” he murmured in agreement, an indulgent smile overtaking him as Roman explained his preferences in detail. Caspian had just started to become reaccustomed to Roman’s touch when his grip tightened to the point of discomfort, causing his body to instinctively tense up. A strangled groan escaped him as he absorbed the explanation for the amplified intensity. Although he’d never fully considered it before, Caspian realized that he had been getting off on pain ever since he met Roman. It seemed borderline uncharacteristic of him, but he suddenly realized that he’d always longed for the heady mixture of pain and pleasure that Roman was promising. He’d been unable to formulate his desires in the past, but Roman seemed to know him even more than Caspian knew himself.
Roman’s wandering fingers sent another jolt of electricity through him, causing his body to impulsively recoil. Caspian was so wound up he could hardly remain still beneath Roman’s all-consuming presence. Using the burst of adrenaline he’d been gifted with, he hooked his legs around Roman’s hips and rolled, forcibly turning the tables so that he was on top, “And I like making things difficult for you,” Caspian countered. He straddled Roman’s waist and ground his hips downward to reignite the contact between them. His hands gripped Roman’s wrists and pressed them into the mattress on either side of the man’s head in an attempt to pin him. Caspian seemed smug with his apparent success, until a fiery burst of pain rushed up his arm, reminding him of the very fresh wound he’d been ignoring. His confident grin crumbled into a grimace and his injured arm went limp as he curled into himself, not wanting to risk tearing open Roman’s handiwork for the sake of rough housing.
Giving up on his endeavor, he released his grip completely and splayed himself over Roman’s body, officially submitting. He pressed a gentle kiss to Roman’s chest and peered up at him, “I love you,” he repeated the words, keeping to his promise that he would make up for his silence at every given opportunity. Roman deserved to hear the words over and over until he truly knew that he was loved every moment of every day. “I want you,” he repeated the inciting words, but made no further moves, making it clear that he wanted Roman to take him in whatever way he desired.
|
|
|
|
Post by starrea on Nov 3, 2020 17:25:00 GMT
Even after all this time, Caspian still managed to surprise Roman. Roman had spent a lifetime analyzing people and their motives and built a career surrounding his unparalleled abilities to predict his opponent's next move but time and time again, Caspian's unpredictability left Roman dumbstruck. Things had changed since their first chance encounter; his inability to calculate Caspian's next move had sent him spiraling with anxiety, threatened by how easily he made Roman vulnerable. Now, Caspian's unpredictable nature only intensified the heat between them. He no longer felt the compulsive need to anticipate each and every move from Caspian. The truth was that Caspian loved him, and that truth freed Roman from his omnipresent paranoia that usually governed his life. One second, Roman was on top of Caspian and the next, he wasn't. Caspian's cheeky move was so unanticipated that Roman didn't even have the chance to resist it. It was his turn to be pliant to Caspian's touch, letting the other man pin his wrists with little difficulty. Roman reveled in his dominance over every area of his life but seeing Caspian on top of him with his wrists pinned to the bed was unexpectedly erotic. His thoughts carried him away, conjuring up scenarios of Caspian being dominant and Roman submitting to him, and he suddenly felt a strong desire to play those fantasies out. It wasn't until Caspian's grip went slack and he pulled away that Roman remembered the fresh stab wound and irritation flickered across his features. "Damnit Caspian, I am not stitching you up twice today," It was a lie – just as Caspian had proven to be predictably unpredictable, Roman had shown that no matter what he said, he would always be there for Caspian. I love you. Roman's stomach erupted with butterflies; the sensation so strong that he squirmed beneath Caspian. His heart was already pounding in his chest, but the proclamation made it skip a beat, leaving Roman breathless - all because of three little words. "Fuck, I'm never going to get tired of hearing you say that," It was almost enough to make Roman forget about Caspian’s wound and Roman fought the urge to resume what Caspian had started. Roman clawed his way out from underneath Caspian, pushing him back and crawling on top of him again, “Don’t you dare think about pulling that shit again,” Roman warned, dragging his lips over the trail of bruises already forming on Caspian’s neck, and his hand dipped down to cradle Caspian’s budding erection, “You’ll regret it if you rip those stitches.” The threat was followed by Roman’s grip tightening around Caspian’s length until the other man was squirming beneath him. Once he was sure that his point had been made, Roman released Caspian and pulled his lips away from Caspian’s neck as his fingers, the ones that had just been coiled around Caspian’s length, trailed down his face. The gesture was soft and slow, loving, as Roman took the moment to lose himself in the eyes of his lover. Then, with no warning, he shoved two fingers into Caspian’s mouth. Wordlessly, he slowly pushed them deeper, giving Caspian no other option other than to suck them. He didn’t break eye contact, not for a second, intently savoring in every single reaction he triggered from Caspian’s body. He worked his fingers into a slow rhythm, pulling them out and pushing them back in, letting Caspian lubricate them for what was to come next. After several long moments, Roman pulled his fingers free of Caspian’s mouth and his hand descended to its true destination. Roman lowered his head until their foreheads were touching, his gaze locked with Caspian’s, and sunk one of his fingers into Caspian. He didn’t give Caspian a chance to prepare himself. He didn’t go slowly, didn’t award Caspian the chance to adjust to the intrusion, burying his finger inside of Caspian up to the knuckle. Just as quickly as he had pushed into Caspian, he pulled out, only to repeat the motion with increasing intensity. When he felt Caspian relax around him, he added a second finger and continued his merciless pace, twisting his fingers to help loosen Caspian up. The entire time this was happening, Roman didn’t look away from Caspian once. He immersed himself in watching all the ways Caspian melted to his touch; the subtle way his eyes widened and pupils dilated, the way his lips parted, the way Roman could make him tense up and relax again. He couldn’t look away, transfixed on watching the way Caspian slowly lost himself in the blend of pleasure and pain. It was addicting to know it didn’t matter what Roman decided to give Caspian, that he would get off on whatever pleasure or pain Roman gifted him with regardless. Roman couldn’t wait anymore, scared that if wasted anymore time watching Caspian melt beneath his touch, he would only last seconds when he finally pushed himself into Caspian. He pulled his fingers out, his hand moving up to cradle Caspian’s balls and gently stroke his erection, “Turn over,” He ordered, pulling enough of his weight off just enough to allow him to move.
|
|
|
|
Post by Val on Nov 10, 2020 20:03:42 GMT
As brief as the moment had been, there was something particularly enthralling about being in control of someone like Roman. Caspian didn’t know what it was like to be an influential force- not in the way Roman was accustomed to. Living on the fringe of society had made him all but invisible. When people looked his way, their gazes merely passed over him like he was an insignificant part of the landscape. He could disappear off the face of the earth, and no one would know or care. But Roman changed that. Roman saw him, and every time the man looked at him, he felt like the most important person in the universe.
“I thought you liked causing me pain,” he countered facetiously as he was scolded for his reckless behavior. Though the majority of their time together was deep and somber, the occasional playful banter between them was refreshing. He felt at home when he was with Roman and, when the drama subsided, their moments together always felt perfect. As the burning sensation in his shoulder ebbed away, his grimace reformed into another grin. Even if he tried to suppress it, his megawatt smile only grew the more he got a reaction out of Roman.
Allowing their position to be reversed once more, Caspian fell pliantly onto his back and stretched out beneath Roman with a sense of satisfaction. “Whatever you say-“ the words ended in a grunt as Roman took hold of him once more, sending his body into yet another frenzy of sensation. Now that the point had been made, Caspian gave up on his rebellion and became lost in the way that Roman was looking at him- touching him. It was beautiful and entrancing enough to leave him surprised when Roman finally pushed his fingers into his mouth.
Caspian ardently accepted the intrusion, closing his lips around Roman’s fingers with a knowing gleam in his eye. His tongue explored the new sensation as he locked eyes with Roman, prepping for what was to come. When Roman’s hand finally made its descent, his breath quickened in anticipation and culminated in a sharp intake of air when Roman pressed into him. He instinctively tried to sit upwards, but the connection with Roman’s forehead effectively stopped and subdued him. Left with no other option, Caspian relaxed his body and accepted the merciless pressure from the man’s exploratory fingers. The feeling was incomparable to anything else- a heady mixture of pain and pleasure combined with Roman’s unrelenting gaze as they stared into each other’s eyes.
By the time Roman uttered another command, Caspian had fallen into a hypnotic state, so absorbed by the passion between them that it took several seconds for the words to catch up to him. Time felt like it was moving more slowly, and his body struggled to keep up. As Roman shifted to allow space between them, he glanced down to take in the sight of Roman’s arousal, wondering how his alcohol induced self had taken the well-hung man so easily.
“Fuck.” Caspian was genuinely unsure if he actually vocalized the word, and even more unsure of what it was referring to. Whether it was the buzz of apprehension or the pure attraction he felt toward Roman in that moment- it didn’t matter. He simply wanted Roman in every way imaginable. Part of him wanted to maintain the intense eye contact they were sharing, but Caspian was far too entranced by Roman to object to his straightforward order. Gaining control of his sluggish limbs, he rolled over onto his stomach and splayed himself flat against the mattress. He arched his back and turned his head to observe Roman out of the corner of his eye, practically humming with anticipation as he pressed backwards impatiently.
|
|
|
|
Post by starrea on Nov 17, 2020 2:55:46 GMT
There was no warning; as soon as he had rolled onto his stomach, Roman was already lining himself up with Caspian and mercilessly pushed his way in. He didn't stop until he was completely sheathed inside of Caspian, his pelvis pressed up against Caspian's backside. It was only then that Roman allowed Caspian a moment of reprieve, the pause allowing Roman a second to enjoy the sinful pleasure of Caspian. Roman leaned down over Caspian, caging him in with a hand on either side of his head, and brushed his lips up Caspian's neck to his ear, "I love you," He murmured, the act of being completely inside of Caspian elevating the words to a new level of intensity.
Maybe it was the irresistible pleasure of Caspian's touch, or the unconditional acceptance of Roman's violent past and morally-questionable decisions, but right now, Roman didn't want to go back to Raevaryn. After they had exhausted each other and both men were spent, Roman knew that he would eventually have to leave. His job was more crucial now than ever but it didn't matter how hard he tried to fix it. One man, even with the power Roman possessed, simply couldn't hold a kingdom together. Every since he had met Caspian, the idea of abandoning it all had been traitorously plaguing more and more frequently, but now, while he was buried deep inside of Caspian, the desire to desert his job was stronger than ever. Nothing had ever mattered more than Roman's job - but that was all before Caspian. Now, Roman's allegiances had shifted and he almost didn't even care about the disaster he was potentially leaving behind.
Roman finally started to move, pulling out painstakingly slowly at first but quickly gained speed as he pushed back in. He didn't wait to Caspian to adjust to his pace; within a matter of seconds, Roman was ruthlessly slamming into Caspian. The sound of their bodies colliding filled the room, coupled with the labored, quiet moans from Roman as he chased his release. The closer he got, the more feverish Roman's thrusts became and he lowered his hands to Caspian's hips to stabilize him as Roman continued to use him for his own pleasure. He didn't last more than a few minutes and with a final thrust, he released himself deep inside of Caspian. The pleasure was paralyzing and it took half a minute or so before Roman could even collapse over Caspian's hot body, panting from the exertion and intensity of the pleasure. Even after he had come, he made no move to pull himself out of Caspian, content to stay exactly where he was.
Now that his mind was clearing from the fog of excitement, the thought of staying with Caspian permanently popped back into his thoughts but he couldn't find the courage to broach the subject. Caspian and Roman's relationship was characterized by intensity; they had literally just professed their love for each other for the first time after Caspian had literally taken a knife to the shoulder for him. Caspian had stayed by his side through several agonizing breakthroughs, none of which Roman went through gracefully, and still wanted him after he had proved himself unworthy time and time again. Things were finally good between them and the last thing he wanted to do was ruin the moment by pushing things too far.
He finally pulled out of Caspian, rolling over to the side so he could look he could see his face. "You make me want to be a better man," Roman murmured, reaching out to lightly trace his thumb over Caspian's lips, "Someone who deserves your love," There was a wistful look in his eyes, accompanied by a look of deep admiration and unfiltered love. Redemption seemed impossible, but if that's what it required to be deserving of Caspian, he would spend every moment trying to achieve it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Val on Nov 24, 2020 20:35:36 GMT
Roman’s entrance pushed Caspian right to the edge, the sensation nearly overwhelming. His cry was stifled as he pressed his face into the bed sheets, adjusting to the toe-curling fullness of having Roman inside of him. The muscles in his back were wrought with tension until he felt Roman descend upon him, perfectly melding their bodies. The three little words caused an intense shiver of pleasure to spread through every inch of him, officially allowing him to surrender to Roman; mind, body, and spirit.
The moment was unlike anything Caspian had ever experienced, and he knew that tonight would not be enough. They deserved to be with each other every day and every night, and his hesitancies about pulling Roman away from his work were beginning to dissipate. If Roman truly felt the way that he did, then no level of duty would be enough to keep them apart. Love had to be more powerful than reason, and Caspian was sure that their love would be the death of Roman’s duty.
As Roman began to move, Caspian’s thoughts were quickly scattered, replaced by the physical passion building between them. He soon came to life, matching the relentless pace Roman has set forth. Only when he felt strong hands grip him did he finally twist his head around, desperate to catch a glimpse of Roman finding his release, and he was not disappointed. He collapsed onto the bed and had barely sucked down a few deep breaths before he felt Roman’s full weight bear down upon him. Although he could hardly move or breathe, he deemed this to be his new favorite position, and one he was in no hurry to get away from.
Caspian reveled in the aftermath, lulled by the feeling of Roman’s heartbeat thudding against his shoulder blade. He groaned softly as Roman finally rolled away from him, leaving him feeling empty without the physical contact between them. Eager to rectify the situation, he shifted closer and pressed himself against Roman’s side, eyes fluttering open lazily in response to the brush of his thumb. “You deserve my love,” he insisted quietly. He knew that Roman was the one who needed convincing in that regard, and he would remind him every day until he believed it.
Feeling a familiar sense of uncertainty overcome him, he studied Roman for any of the usual signs that he was preparing to flee but came up empty. Instead, he found the opposite. It felt as though they had reached a new level of comfort and acceptance in the matter of a day, and Caspian wasn’t afraid to build upon that, “Stay with me.” He’d spoken the words before, but tonight they held a new and deeper meaning, “I want you to know that my home is yours. I want you to live here, with me,” he plead his case, searching Roman’s eyes for signs of dissent. As usual, he was not afraid to follow his heart or push the boundaries between them until they achieved the life they both deserved.
|
|
|
|
Post by starrea on Nov 27, 2020 17:34:33 GMT
Caspian didn't know - couldn't know - how far his words were from the truth. It was already astounding how much Caspian accepted him despite knowing a handful of the things Roman had done and was capable of doing, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. Years of unforgivable sins lurked just beneath the surface, secrets of wickedness that Roman would never let see the light of day. Something felt inherently wrong about letting Caspian love him unconditionally, like his very presence was tainting the intrinsic goodness of Caspian. But Roman never claimed to be a good man or a virtuous man, and he was too unapologetically selfish to let Caspian go - even if it was what was best for him. Instead, the best Roman could do was vow to spend each day here on out being the kind of man who deserved Caspian. It wasn't enough to right all of his wrongs, it would never be enough, but it was all he could do.
As usual, Caspian knew what Roman wanted before he himself knew, so he wasn't all that surprised when Caspian verbalized the very thoughts he had just been having. He knew the answer; he couldn't move in with Caspian, but he found himself unable to to articulate that. Desertion was one of the most deplorable acts a man could commit, a decision that was unforgivable and irredeemable in Roman's eyes. It was the very essence of everything he loathed in a man; lack of discipline, loyalty, and honor. Death was inevitable; it was not to be feared, not to be fled from - death in promoting or protecting one's cause was an admirable death. Beyond that, Roman had ordered the execution or countless deserters and had personally carried out a handful of the capital punishments. If he were to desert now, he would be committing the same crime he had condemned numerous men to death for. Would that be the actions of a man who deserved the love of someone like Caspian?
Beyond his personal abhorrence to desertion, there was also the concern that the organization he came from, the one that molded him into the man he was today, wouldn't take kindly to his resignation. Despite his increasingly infrequent communications with the shadow organization, he knew they were still watching him and he still dutifully reported back to them when called upon. They hadn't explicitly expressed anything yet, but Roman knew that they displeased with the crumbling Raevaryn government. He had half expected them to officially order the assassination of Nadia, but even they must have realized that the deaths of two queens in such a period of time was bound to raise suspicions and incur repercussions. Not the people would care - Yasmin hadn't been loved, but Nadia was even less popular. Still, the death of two queens would display the internal instability, and with the amount of dissent in the people, it might be enough to spark an uprising. For now, the organization was leaving him to his own devices, but he couldn't imagine they would just let him walk away. Even though he had never explicitly been a prisoner and had never been outright told that he couldn't leave, Roman knew how these people dealt with problems - he was usually the one who dealt with problems. Besides the wasted years the organization invested in training him for the position he was in now, he had years of manipulating political scenarios and making people disappear at the command of these people. He wasn't stupid enough to believe that they didn't know about Caspian and by leaving, he wasn't just putting himself in danger.
Even faced with the insurmountable pile of evidence that clearly showed that moving in with Caspian was just about as stupid as he could get, he found himself hesitating. He wanted this; he wanted Caspian and the small farmhouse and the simple life. Caspian would tend to the animals - without Roman's help, because animals were disgusting - and Roman could fix up the farmhouse and cut wood and do whatever else needed to be done. The hardest decision he would have to make would be what to make for dinner. The amount of sheer desire for this reality was startling - Roman hadn't ever allowed himself to consider such a mundane fantasy because it was so unrealistic and so ordinary that it simply wasn't possible. Now that it was just out of his reach, his desire for what he couldn't have was bordering on desperation.
"I... can't," Roman finally forced the words out, feeling himself deflate under the pressure of reality. He had already all but abandoned his job to spend an unacceptable amount of time out here with Caspian. "I can't abandon my job. It's not how I was raised. If I did that, I wouldn't deserve you," Roman reasoned softly, his fingers trailing up from Caspian's lips to his hair. "Come back with me, stay in the castle. I'll figure out a way I can leave," The lie slipped out of his lips easily, too desperate to convince Caspian to stay with him to stop it. Leaving Raevaryn wasn't the problem; even if he left Raevaryn, the organization would simply reassign him somewhere else and Roman would be a distant memory. Somewhere, in another kingdom, he would begin a new life as someone new.
|
|
|
|
Post by Val on Dec 2, 2020 19:12:17 GMT
Caspian witnessed Roman start to regress, pulling out of his metaphorical reach even as they lay pressed against each other. The darkening of his eyes had come to signal that his thoughts were turning inward, dwelling on some unforeseen force that he refused to divulge to Caspian. As much as he longed for complete transparency, he trusted Roman’s judgement on the matter. Sometimes, things were better left unsaid. Part of him, perhaps the self-preserving part, was afraid to learn the details of what was holding him back.
As his offer hung in the air between them, Caspian distracted himself by studying Roman. In the dim light, he could see the conflict churning in his dark eyes as he mulled over the consequences. Caspian’s light green eyes were probing, searching for answers that simply weren’t there. With the animals, it was easy. He could in essence read their minds, sense their moods, and communicate freely. But the thoughts of animals were nothing like those of humans. They didn’t think in words or abstract thought. They lived in the moment, interacting with their surroundings, in tune with the world around them. Only people became lost in their own minds, dwelling over the past, worrying about the future. It was what made humans unique, but it also plagued us with concepts like good versus evil. Did Roman think he was evil? Caspian had never been one to see things in black and white, and no matter how long he stared, no matter how deep he searched, he could never believe that Roman was beyond redemption.
Sensing the rejection that was about to fall from Roman’s lips, he reached out and took his hand, smoothing his thumb over the cracked knuckles. How many layers of scars marred his fists? Caspian squeezed, a silent plea for him to take the risk, to start a new life together. He believed it was the only way for Roman to heal, and that had to be more important than any duty he had to the corrupt kingdom of Raevaryn. As expected, the refusal tumbled painfully out of Roman, and Caspian’s grip slackened.
Deserve. The word was beginning to get on his nerves. Caspian couldn’t fathom why Roman thought he was so pure. He was selfish. He didn’t care about the kingdom, he wanted Roman for himself. Everything he did was for himself and his animals. He constantly avoided getting involved with the world’s problems, afraid of the turmoil he would encounter- the turmoil Roman dealt with every day. Their differing circumstances are what gave him the illusion of purity, but he didn’t feel worthy of Roman’s persistent admiration.
“I can’t.” It was his turn to land the blow, and he averted his gaze, pulling away from Roman’s touch. Guilt clawed at him for expecting Roman to give up everything when he was unwilling to do the same. He thought about the dozens of animals that lived on his farm and the cruel circumstances he’d rescued them from. From abused dogs to lame horses to cows being led to the slaughter, every living creature on his property had a story to tell, “If I abandon them, I’m no better than the situations I saved them from.” He didn’t expect Roman to understand his commitment any more than he understood Roman’s loyalty to his position. Besides that, Caspian didn’t belong in a castle. He would be useless and restless, and he refused to feed into a lifestyle that he felt was damaging Roman.
Caspian shifted in the bed, feeling his body ache in all the right places as a subtle reminder of the life they were denying themselves. His head landed on a pillow and he tossed a spare one at Roman, feeling exhausted from the day’s events and the constant conflict between them. Their physical contact was broken for the first time in what felt like hours, and the spiteful part of him wanted to give Roman the cold shoulder. Maybe if he started being less patient and more difficult, Roman would stop looking at him like he was some perfect individual he was bound to tarnish. But, after only a few moments of separation, his heart ached at the idea of Roman leaving in the middle of the night. He moved a leg between Roman’s, hooking and anchoring him to the bed, “Stay tonight.”
|
|
|
|
Post by starrea on Dec 3, 2020 20:23:39 GMT
Now that the possibility of starting a life with Caspian was out in the open, Roman's mind spun tirelessly to try and find a solution that would make it work. By the time he sensed Caspian pulling away from him, he was too slow to catch and drag him back. For once, he was the one watching Caspian shut down on him and he needed to say something, anything, to save the moment before it descended into the usual conflict between them. The space between them was cold and only a few inches wide, but Roman felt the pressure. They had gotten so close, built a bridge over every rift that formed between them, climbed over every obstacle that got in their way, and Roman was scared that it would all fall to pieces. He wanted to follow Caspian and revive the contact between them, preserve the connection, but he felt lost and unsure in regards to what the next right move was. Caspian was the one who fixed things, not him.
"No, you don't understand..." Roman started, trying to find way to explain the impossible situation that was his life. His life was like a spider's web; something very small and very unimportant could touch a single strand and it would send shock waves throughout the entire web, triggering the omnipresent attention of the spider, who moved so rarely that it was easy to forget that it even existed. Somehow, he needed to figure out a way to navigate his way out of the spider's web without attracting the attention of the predator that stalked him. "I want to stay. I never saw myself as the type who would settle down and have a quiet life, but fuck, I'm willing to give it a try as long as it's with you. I just need to figure out how to get away without raising suspicions. I don't want my... past to interfere with our future. I'm going to figure this out, I just need to do it right," The explanation spilled out of Roman hastily, his eyes anxiously searching Caspian's face for any sign of forgiveness.
Caspian's lifestyle was a far cry from Roman's wildest fantasies whenever he thought about his future. Now that he had achieved a sense of prestige and power, he had never considered... downgrading. He had assumed that he would spend the rest of life similarly to how he lived it now; in a position of power, surrounded by wealth and luxury. And never once had he ever entertained the possibility of living on a farm. Animals were filthy, unsanitary creatures and farm animals were the worst - the very thought of having to shovel literal shit was enough to make Roman gag. None of that mattered; as long as Caspian was here, as long as he was happy, Roman could see himself learning to appreciate the small things in life. Besides, it wasn't until he had established a rank of nobility that he really started to abhor dirt and that was mostly because he had spent years of training, most of which involved covered in all sorts of filth. His nobility had acted as a clear boundary, separating him from that time in his life and rebranding himself as someone new. This would be a new start for him as well, and maybe he could learn to appreciate getting his hands dirty again.
When Caspian's leg locked over Roman, relief flooded through him and he took it as permission to reignite their connect. He crawled over to Caspian, crawling on top of him and dropping down to connect their lips. The kiss ended too soon, but Roman wanted to get under the covers. He had never felt so comfortable around someone and he wondered how he had gone for so long without this of love and acceptance in his life. "Just try to kick me out, see what happens," Roman joked lightly, having no intentions on leaving. He knew that his absence wouldn't be missed by Nadia, but maybe that wasn't a bad thing. If he got fired and exiled, he wouldn't bear the weight of blame as he would if he chose to desert instead.
Once Roman was under the covers, he rolled over so he was looking at Caspian. He could see that Caspian was tired but Roman was wide awake, "What do you think of when you think of our future?" He asked softly, reaching out to run a hand idly down Caspian's chest. They hadn't talked about their future but now it was indisputable that they bound to one another for better or for worse.
|
|
|
|
Post by Val on Dec 9, 2020 1:20:06 GMT
Caspian kept his eyes closed as Roman explained himself. Making things difficult for Roman felt incredibly unnatural for him, but it had the desired effect. Hearing Roman speak from the heart and vow to solve their problem warmed his heart, and he struggled to act detached for the remainder of the explanation. Whenever the roles switched between them, bits and pieces of the wall surrounding Roman seemed to crumble away. He was speaking freely now and, although he avoided the details, was finally making his intentions clear. It was a far cry from the previous conversations they’d shared in his bed, and Caspian was finally able to see the progress of their relationship firsthand. As he had believed all along, love did conquer all.
Feeling Roman climb over him, he parted his lips to accept the kiss he felt coming. The connection was far too brief, and his eyes finally flickered open to watch Roman tug the covers over them. Instantly soothed by the warmth that gathered between them, he rolled onto his side to face Roman. His lips twitched with amusement, and he was unable to suppress the grin that spread across his face, “Look at you, making jokes,” he teased, reaching out to emphasize his comment with a poke to the ribs. As much as he had fallen for the brooding persona that Roman usually put on, he could definitely get used to the comfortable banter between them.
Lulled by the weight of blankets and the pull of sleep, Caspian allowed his eyes to flutter back closed. Only a few seconds of silence passed before Roman spoke again, earning him another bemused smile. “Hmm,” he forced his eyes back open and gazed at Roman with sleepy adoration, “Talkative, too,” he noted. With a yawn, he flopped back onto his back and stared at the ceiling at he considered the question, allowing pleasant thoughts of the future to flood his mind.
“I think about what it would be like to be with you every day, and sleep with you every night. Eventually…moving somewhere new. Starting fresh, building something that fits both of our lives,” he murmured, surprising even himself with the lucid train of thought. He’d never considered leaving his beloved farm behind, but a house was only a house. As long as he had Roman and the creatures that filled his life with meaning, physical location didn’t matter. “I imagine you learning to tolerate the animals. Maybe befriending a few,” he added hopefully, well aware of Roman’s aversion to his friends, “I want to talk openly like this until there are no walls, no secrets between us,” he turned his head to the side, meeting Roman’s gaze earnestly to let him know that he meant it; he wanted to know everything. Caspian lifted a hand and captured Roman’s palm against his chest, “We have time,” he added gently, wanting him to know that he would be patient. From the most mundane details, to the darkest memories that haunted Roman’s eyes, Caspian was willing to spend an eternity earning enough trust for Roman to consider unloading his pain. “I want to see you accept the love that you deserve.”
The lighthearted mood had become weighty with emotion, but it felt right to let Roman know where his head was at, even if some things were deeper than others. He smiled again, this time softer, hoping he hadn’t ruined the relaxed atmosphere they had created in the sanctity of his quiet bedroom, “Your turn,” he urged quietly, expecting Roman to reciprocate with an answer of his own.
|
|
