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Post by starrea on Feb 13, 2020 1:11:34 GMT
For the first time, Roman was okay as the power shifted between them. Instead of feeling out of control, a sense of security settled over him. Caspian was going to take care of him and he trusted him to do that. He closed his eyes as Caspian continued to work, his breaths coming out hot and heavy. The pleasure inside of him was mounting and his fists twisted in Caspian’s as he encouraged him to take him deeper. His hips pushed themselves forward, eager to reach the climax that was steadily building.
And then his mouth was gone. Roman’s eyes snapped open in surprise to see Caspian pulling away, but before he got a chance to say anything, Caspian pushed him back. He let himself fall onto the couch without complaint, his cock twitching at the sight of Caspian on top of him. He was about to say something, beg even, to get Caspian to finish him but Caspian was three steps ahead of him because he lowered his mouth back onto Roman’s length.
His head fell back as pleasure ripples through his body. His climax was rapidly approaching and his hands blindly reached for Caspian, one hand grabbing his hair as his hips pushed up.
“Fuck, Caspian... I’m going to... Caspian!” As he moaned the man’s name, he peaked at his climax and an intense wave of pleasure rolled through his body and shot his load down his partner’s throat.
It took Roman a couple of seconds to recover. Even afterwards, his body was still humming with the pleasure that Caspian had given him. His hand loosened it’s grip on Caspian hair and he tried to sit up. The motion caused his stomach to flip and he suddenly realized how drunk he was.
“What... what about you?” He asked, but between the alcohol and the intense orgasm, Roman was already having a hard time keeping his eyes open. The room started to spin and he closed his eyes to keep from throwing up, slumping over onto Caspian.
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Post by Val on Feb 15, 2020 17:04:36 GMT
Caspian watched Roman unfold, feeling triumphant as the man trembled and moaned and finally reached his climax. It was a beautiful sight; Roman satiated and exhausted. He remained on his knees, observing his work and feeling absolutely aroused. But the moment didn't last long.
He grunted as Roman slumped over, catching him with his shoulder before he could face plant into the floor. It was then that he realized the sexual fantasy was coming to an abrupt end. Caspian begrudgingly stood up, hooking one of Roman's arms over his shoulders so that he could hoist him to his feet, "Don't worry about me," he soothed, "Let's get you to bed." He trudged forward slowly, dragging Roman along until they reached the bed and he could deposit the drunk onto it. He made sure to prop him onto his side in case he threw up and gave his shoulder a squeeze, "Don't move."
Leaving Roman, he strode into the bathroom in search of water, but paused as he caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror. He studied his reflection; sweaty, disheveled, and unfulfilled. He considered finishing himself off, but decided against it. Sometimes waiting made the prize much sweeter, and he liked to think Roman was worth waiting for.
He appeared at Roman's bedside moments later, pants back on and two glasses of water in his hands, "Drink up," he stated loud enough to stir the man if he'd drifted off.
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Post by starrea on Feb 15, 2020 19:18:09 GMT
Roman was barely conscious as Caspian dragged him to the bed. He tried to help but his limbs suddenly felt impossibly heavy. If Caspian hadn’t been supporting 90% of Roman’s weight, he would have sunk to the floor and passed out.
He felt something soft beneath him and somewhere in the back of his mind realized it was a bed. His hands reached out for Caspian but he was already gone.
Something shaking him roused him and he sluggishly forced his eyes open. Something was lifted to his lips and telling him to drink so he did. He hadn’t realized how thirsty he had been and kept drinking until the water in front of him disappeared. His eyes closed, it was too hard to keep them open, and his hand reached for Caspian again before he passed out. It found something warm and he gave it a tug towards him before he completely passed out.
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Post by Val on Feb 16, 2020 2:03:27 GMT
Caspian watched Roman pass out before slipping his hand gently from his grasp. He sighed, unsure of what sober Roman was going to be like come morning. He circled the bed and sprawled out on the other side, willing sleep to take him.
He awoke immediately when the slightest hints of sunlight began to trickle through the windows. Caspian was accustomed to waking up at the crack of dawn to tend to his animals and farm, but waking up in Roman's immaculate castle bedroom left him unsure what to do with himself. He rolled onto his side to find a peacefully sleeping Roman and took a moment to indulge in the sight of his still naked form. Eventually, he rolled out of bed and stretched before approaching the windows. He gazed out across the carefully groomed lawn of the castle considered how he was going to break the news to Roman that he needed to go home. Cracking the window open for some fresh air, he sat on the sill and waited patiently for Roman to awake.
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Post by starrea on Feb 16, 2020 14:59:30 GMT
The first thing Roman was aware of was the incredible pain in his head. It throbbed relentlessly with every beat of his heart and the pain was almost bad enough that he almost missed how nausea he was. He wanted to just lay there and hopefully slip back into unconsciousness but his stomach turned and he knew he needed to get to the bathroom. He cracked his eyes open and sat up, wincing at the shooting pain in his head as protest. He realized he was naked, which was weird because he usually didn’t sleep naked. But he didn’t have time to think about it because his stomach turned again, this time more urgently, and he swung himself out of bed.
Every step resulted in a painful, sharp stab of pain in his head. He tried to keep his eyes down and shielded from the light but he caught sight of another individual in his peripheral and stopped short. Memories of last night started to come back - none of them complete, but rather hazy snippets. He remained rooted to his spot, too shocked to even try and cover himself in front of Caspian. The memories just kept coming back and they played out in his mind and he was forced to watch.
The only thing that got him moving again was his stomach, which was threatening to spill its contents right then and there. He turned and ran to the toilet, collapsing in front of it and emptying his stomach. He continued retching long after anything of substance had come up and when his stomach finally took mercy on him, he leaned back against the wall and shut his eyes.
Roman has gotten drunk before but he had never, not once, been that drunk. The memories were like some sort of horrific accident that despite every fiber of his body not wanting to see, he couldn’t look away. Roman has never been attracted to girls but he had always chalked up to his disinterest in relationships and romance in general. He had never considered the possibility of being gay. To be perfectly honest, he hadn’t really thought that was a thing. That’s how out of touch with sexuality Roman was. But how much of it was Roman, and how much of it was the alcohol? How much of it was Caspian? Caspian obviously elicited a reaction in him. It couldn’t be gay if Caspian plus the alcohol pushed him into it. It wasn’t something he would ever do sober. After this mess, he was ready to swear off alcohol altogether.
Roman couldn’t believe that he had brought Caspian to his room. There were so many firsts that had happened last night... he hoped that he hadn’t told Caspian how inexperienced he was. And he couldn’t believe that Caspian had stayed. A part of him wished he hadn’t. He wasn’t sure how the fuck he was going to face him after last night. But another part of him, a part that he actively pushed to the back of his mind, was glad that he hadn’t left even though he could have.
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Post by Val on Feb 16, 2020 21:18:59 GMT
Caspian's eyes followed Roman as he stirred, but he remained silent from his position on the window sill, gauging the man's reaction as he finally laid eyes on him. The look of shock in Roman's eyes caused a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Before he could manage to do anything but stare, Roman suddenly took off toward the bathroom, leaving him alone with his growing nerves.
Hearing Roman retch in the other room caused seeds of doubt and regret to burrow their way into his mind. Maybe hadn't realized just how drunk Roman was. He shouldn't have taken it so far. He should have stopped it and allowed Roman to figure it out with a clear head, but part of him had a feeling this never would have happened without the liquid courage.
When the heaving sounds began to slow, he forced himself up from his seat and dressed himself the rest of the way, deciding it was best to try not to freak Roman out more than he already was. He gathered up Roman's clothes from the previous night and made his way toward the bathroom, appearing in the doorway to find him naked and spent on the floor, "Here," he offered quietly, tossing the pile of clothes onto his lap.
Unsure of what exactly Roman remembered, he kept his distance, leaning against the door frame. He had no idea what to say- no idea what Roman was thinking. For all he knew, Roman would be furious and lock him back up, or worse. "You okay?" It was a loaded, but genuine, question. He wanted to say so much more, but clamped his mouth shut, once again feeling as though he were walking on eggshells. He desperately needed Roman to reveal where his mind was at.
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Post by starrea on Feb 17, 2020 0:03:48 GMT
Roman was grateful that Caspian hadn’t tried to comfort him as he threw up. It would have just been too much for Roman to handle and he savored the space between them. He knew that Caspian was going to come eventually, long before he would be ready to face him, so he only made a half-hearted attempt to cover himself when Caspian tossed his clothes at him. Roman was rarely even shirtless, so being naked on the ground in front of the only man who had ever experienced his body made his cheeks flush with embarrassment. He waited for Caspian to leave but when he didn’t, he slipped on the shirt. His attempts to redress were awkward and uncoordinated as he tried to do it both quickly and discreetly while blocking himself.
He pushed himself off the floor and finished pulling his pants up, finding some relief that both men were now fully clothed. He leaned over the sink and rinsed his mouth out and splashed some water on his face. With one last sigh, he finally turned to face Caspian.
The answer was automatic - “Yeah.” There was no other option for Roman. He was too important, too in control to not be okay. He breezed by Caspian and walked over to the couch. He wished he had something to do, something to distract himself from the conversation that was coming. But he couldn’t find anything so instead he sat and put his head in his hand, his fingers curling into fists around his hair.
“Caspian...” He started talking but he realized he didn’t know what to say. The name triggered a memory from last night and he saw himself, back arched in pleasure, and Caspian between his legs. He winced at the memory and kept his eyes glued to the ground. He couldn’t look at him after remembering that.
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Post by Val on Feb 17, 2020 1:30:36 GMT
Caspian averted his gaze as Roman got dressed out of respect for the man's obvious discomfort. From the blushing to the avoidance of eye contact, everything in Roman's body language screamed embarrassment. This was somewhat of a relief to Caspian. He could handle embarrassment, it was anger he feared. He held his breath as Roman swept past him and waited a few lingering seconds before he followed.
He paused in the center of the room and observed Roman, waiting for him to speak. He wished he would say more, but Caspian was quick to realize that he was going to have to push. He just wasn't sure what direction to take. Before he could let the unspoken words fester in his mouth any longer, he began to speak, "I know how you feel. It's scary to find out something about yourself that you'd never considered. But I promise you, it's a good thing."
He approached Roman steadily and sat on the other end of the couch, leaning forward and following Roman's lead to stare at the floor, "I don't want you to regret anything that happened. But...I understand if you do. If you want me to leave, say the word. If you don't...please, just talk to me." He urged, folding his hands together anxiously as he waited for some kind of response.
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Post by starrea on Feb 17, 2020 2:07:08 GMT
Caspian’s words triggered something inside of Roman and he slowly looked up, his eyes narrowing at insinuation that he might be gay. Even though the thought had crossed his own mind and he had gotten off with the help of another man, it still made him angry to hear it out loud. “I didn’t discover anything about myself that I didn’t already know. And nothing happened.” He snapped. He wasn’t stupid and he wasn’t going to lie to himself, but he also sure as hell wasn't going to talk about it. And truthfully, for something to have happened, it would have needed to matter. And whatever happened between them, which was nothing, didn’t matter, so he technically wasn’t lying.
His fists found their way into his hair again and he pulled, relishing in the stinging pain that grounded him. He took another breath, wanting nothing more than to not deal with this. He wasn’t nausea anymore but he was still nursing a bitch of a hangover and he hadn’t even begun to unpack what the hell had happened the previous night.
“I want you to go.” Roman hadn’t even considered that option until Caspian had said it. And he wasn’t even sure if he meant it. But that didn’t matter because the words were out there and it was probably for best. In the span of couple of days, Caspian had already managed to unravel Roman. If Caspian stayed, he was sure to ruin him.
He knew Caspian wasn’t good for him. He knew that Caspian showed him parts of himself that he hadn’t even known about - parts he didn’t want to know about. He knew that Caspian spun him out of control. He knew that Caspian could resist him. He knew all of that but he still couldn’t look at Caspian after he told him to leave because Caspian had been able to see through him since they had first met and he didn’t want the other man to see that he didn’t really want him to leave.
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Post by Val on Feb 17, 2020 5:19:27 GMT
Caspian didn't often get angry, but Roman had finally struck a cord. He'd been nothing but patient and considerate during their time together, but he'd finally reached the end of his rope. He'd given everything he had to Roman, asking for nothing in return, and he continued to treat him like trash. It stung, and it made him feel ashamed and rejected.
Even though he'd been the one to offer to leave, he hadn't anticipated that Roman would jump so eagerly at the opportunity. He stood up abruptly, his fists tightening at his sides, "Fine." His tone had changed. Roman's negativity had finally managed to taint him. He stepped forward, aware that he had nothing to gather. He could just leave with the clothes on his back and it would be as if he'd never even been there.
He'd only advanced a few steps before he felt the overwhelming urge to turn back and face the man-child, "For the record, a lot happened. But go ahead, keep denying it. Good luck forgetting your first kiss." Perhaps he'd gone too far, but it felt good to take a jab at Roman where he knew it would hurt. After being imprisoned and emotionally tormented for days, he deserved it.
He backed a few more steps toward the door, but he wasn't done, "Don't bother coming to find me. I don't need you fucking with my life more than you already have." He was suddenly glad he'd never shared the location of his farm. Caspian reveled in the fact that Roman might end up searching for him one day soon, if he ever figured his shit out. He glared at Roman and finally turned away, hating that he had resorted to this spiteful behavior. He gripped the door handle and swung it open, stepping into the hallway without bothering to look back.
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Post by starrea on Feb 17, 2020 14:40:10 GMT
Roman didn’t look up as Caspian got up to leave. He could feel the building tension between them, it was so thick that it was nearly tangible. Roman knew he was a selfish man. It was how he got ahead in life, it was how he got here. He had never once had a second thought about the people he had stepped on or screwed over to get here because they didn’t matter. But right now, with his eyes glued to the floor because he was too ashamed to look up and face the actions his words caused, guilt settled in the bottom of his stomach like a rock.
But then Caspian turned and his words were the match that ignited the tension between them. Roman’s head snapped up, his guilt materializing into anger as he watched the other man stomp away. He got to his feet, ignoring the pain that shot through his head in protest, and just about ran after Caspian. He grabbed him by the back of his shirt, wrenching him backwards into the room. Roman slammed the door behind them, whirling around and giving Caspian another good shove for good measure.
“What do you want me to say?” He growled, slowly closing the space between them, “That I enjoyed it? That I won’t forget you or what we did? That I’ll miss you?” By the time he finished, there was barely any space between them. But this time, Roman wasn’t drunk and he was angry - angry with himself and angry with Caspian and just angry in general.
He put his hands on Caspian’s chest, letting them linger for just a second before pushing the man back again. He advanced forward, closing all space between them, “Tell me exactly what the fuck you want from me. Because I have no fucking idea what the fuck you want.” His eyes remained locked with Caspian’s, challenging him to fight back because Roman never lost.
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Post by Val on Feb 17, 2020 23:04:11 GMT
Caspian had barely managed more than a step of freedom before he was yanked back into the room. His face was red with frustration as he watched the door slam closed and he was cornered by Roman once again. Except this time, he was sober, which was turning out to be much worse. He had barely regained his balance before he was shoved again, finding it difficult to gather his thoughts as Roman bullied him further into the room. He was getting whiplash from the mixed signals, which only served to further aggravate him.
He glared at Roman as the man approached and taunted him with rhetorical questions, clearly trying to make him feel stupid for expecting anything from him. He didn't need to hear him admit to any of those things because he already knew that Roman had enjoyed it, and he was pretty damn sure he was going to miss him. Another shove. His jaw clenched and his fists remained clenched at his sides. He was practically begging for him to hit back, but Roman would be sorely disappointed.
"I don't want you to say anything. I want you to shut up," he snapped finally, practically trembling with pent up aggression, "I want you to figure your shit out on your own, because I'm done doing it for you." He lifted his chin as Roman closed the space between them, trying not to let his proximity mess with his head, "What do you want from me?" he repeated the question back to Roman, "You want me to hit you? So you'll finally have an excuse to beat the shit out of me?" he challenged, "Or do you want me to kiss you again? Because you're too much of a coward to do it yourself?"
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Post by starrea on Feb 18, 2020 0:47:08 GMT
Roman reveled in the fact that he was pushing Caspian towards the edge. From what he had gathered, Caspian was a man of peace but the way he was clenching his fists betrayed his pent up anger. He had also been submissive to Roman’s overpowering need for control but right now, he held his own when Roman closed the space between them. It was a new side of Caspian that Roman hadn’t seen yet and the challenge presented was too delicious for Roman to back down from.
His eyes hardened when Caspian turned his own question back onto him. “I don’t fucking know what I want.” He growled, shoving Caspian back another step and quickly closing the distance between them again, “I had my shit figured out. I had everything fucking figured out until I met you, and then you fucked it all up. So fucking excuse me if I’m still trying to wrap my head around what the fuck to go and where the fuck to go from here. Because I don’t fucking know.” His words were laced with venom and his words were sharp and full of anger, all aimed at Caspian.
The tension once again reached a breaking point when Caspian called him a coward. Roman’s entire body stiffened - he had never, not once, been a coward. Roman was the first to admit that he had made mistakes in his past, but he had always faced them head on. He never batted an eye at violence or swayed in heat of battle. He was brave, but he wasn’t stupid. It was a surprisingly rare and highly ideal combination of qualities that made him ideal to be the King’s Advisor.
“I am not a fucking coward. And I don’t want to beat the shit out of you.” Roman usually didn’t give a fuck what others thought, but he felt a little hurt that Caspian thought Roman was going to hurt him. Even when he had locked Caspian in a room, he hadn’t left him in the dungeon. But he pushed the thought out of his head for now.
In a moment of brashness, Roman leaned forward and pressed his lips to Caspian’s. The kiss was only tentative for a second before he unleashed all the pent up rage that had been building up. But the kiss didn’t last long and he pulled back, eyes dark and stormy. “Don’t you ever call me a fucking coward again.”
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Post by Val on Feb 20, 2020 0:23:25 GMT
Caspian wasn't sure what he expected to happen after allowing all of his frustration to bubble over- he was just acting on instinct. That was the strange thing about Roman; he managed to empty Caspian head of rational thought. It was disconcerting, but thrilling nonetheless.
He didn't think Roman would take the bait, but he was quickly proved wrong when the man leaned in and captured his lips. The tumultuous moment seemed to suck the rage right out of him and he began to lean into the kiss as though he hadn't just aggressively insulted Roman. The kiss ended far too soon and his eyes opened to meet Roman's, the fight almost visibly draining from him. Roman kissing him was the confirmation he needed. Now he was left feeling guilty for his words, even though he knew Roman deserved them to some extent. He'd aimed to hit where it would hurt, to spur Roman into some sort of action. And it had worked; clearly he did not like being called a coward, or an abuser for that matter.
"I'm sorry." It was a genuine apology. But if this is what it would take to get Roman to open up on any level, then he would do it again and again. "You don't have to have everything figured out. I know I don't." He dropped his gaze, looking down at the space between their feet, "You also don't have to push me away."
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Post by starrea on Feb 20, 2020 1:42:17 GMT
Roman watched with hard eyes as the fight seemed to deflate out of Caspian. He only softened a fraction when Caspian apologized. If Caspian was expecting an apology in return, he better not hold his breath. But seconds passed and as previously proven, Caspian was a weak spot for Roman and so he started to soften.
He took Caspian’s hands in his own, his thumbs rubbing the back of his hands. He could hardly think straight, not with Caspian so close. Nothing made sense anymore - how had he been so clueless to what his body obviously wanted? How did any of this make sense? And most importantly, was it something that was worth pursuing? The more he thought, the more questions he came up with and the less answers he had.
“I don’t know what to do.” That was the understatement of the century. Roman barely had close friends, his closest friend being Alister. Pushing people away was how he lived his life. Not out of fear or anything like that, but simply because he didn’t need anyone in his life. But he didn’t want to push Caspian away.
He finally looked up from their hands, his eyes studying everything feature of the other man’s face before resting on his eyes. “Please, tell me what you want. Tell me what to do.” The request felt odd coming from him. He hardly ever cared about what others wanted and always knew what to do. But even though he felt out of element, he realized that he didn’t want to keep hurting Caspian. So if Caspian wanted to leave, Roman was prepared to let him walk away with no strings attached.
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