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Post by Elvander on Jul 29, 2019 19:50:22 GMT
Wolfgang refilled his cup, this time purely with whiskey, and observed her reaction to his rather bold statements. He did not regret telling her. When it came down to it, he craved honesty, even to the point of hurting feelings and creating conflict. But the life he lived forced him to lie and keep many secrets- most of which were becoming harder and harder to hide. It felt good to get something off his chest.
"The princess," he paused to take a drink, savoring the burn as it washed down his throat, "I respect Evolet very much. She is a smart girl and a capable leader. I think we could accomplish many things together, but our relationship is strictly...professional. Though I don't believe she would approve of my infidelity or my lycanthropy, for that matter."
He tried to maintain his careful composure upon speaking of Terrowin, but his tone altered noticeably as he continued, "Terrowin makes me feel safe. She does not judge, she does not fear. She is pure and captivating and everything that I am not. I should let her go, but it would be like extinguishing the sun."
He focused on her now, his gaze intense, even if she could not see it, "I am a selfish man, Sasha. I hate myself one day and love myself the next." And even then, as he spoke so highly of the women in his life, he couldn't deny the thoughts that he had about Sasha and what they shared. "The answer to your question is that I don't know if I want to change."
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Post by Elvander on Jul 29, 2019 19:50:48 GMT
Sasha could understand that, and as he explained himself, she wondered if his desire to remain static was truly a bad thing. "What do you think would happen if you were to be honest with each of them?" She mused, trying to decipher what these women were like based on the little Wolfgang had told her about them. She could tell his respect for the princess could lead to a beautiful partnership, if he could be open with her. Or so Sasha thought, at least.
The other girl, the so-called sun to his moon, was a bit more difficult to pin down. "Does the farm girl want you in her life, in spite of everything? Does she care for you?" And more importantly... did that scare Wolfgang? Was he afraid of committing to her, or was that simply a choice that was out of his reach due to his nature? She sipped her tea, wondering how it would all play out.
"Change is difficult to commit to. It requires us to sacrifice the things we love in excess. I don't want to change who I am, and I've made peace with that. I feel that for you, you're growing weary of the lies you weave. Isn't it difficult to keep them all straight? That will catch up with you, you know." She told him bluntly, unaware that he was feeling anything for her at all.
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Post by Val on Jul 30, 2019 0:30:59 GMT
"Difficult is putting it lightly," Wolfgang replied, downing the rest of his drink with quick tilt of the mug, "I feel like I'm leading ten different lives, each with their own positives and negatives. It can be overwhelming, but I've convinced myself that I'd be bored otherwise," he added with a bemused shake of his head.
"I like to think that Terrowin cares very much for me," At least, until he up and left her to come here, to Sasha. Guilt nagged at his chest, but he ignored it, promising himself he'd fix it later, "But I tend to overestimate peoples' opinions of me."
"Maybe," he drew out the word, grabbing the whiskey to refill both of their glasses, "I just need to get caught," he pointed out, his tone verging on arrogant. He often imagined how it would all play out- being exposed to the world, losing the things he'd worked so hard for all at once like dominos crashing down one after the other.
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Post by Elvander on Jul 30, 2019 15:34:07 GMT
She downed his words as easily as she downed the fire water in her cup. To her, it sounded like Wolfgang knew he was living in a state of denial, but was choosing to proceed in his same old patterns. He claimed it was fear of boredom, but Sasha had an inkling that maybe, he was actually afraid of being seen. Seen for who he truly was. Not just for the wolf in him either, but for everything else, all of the things he buried in women, wealth, prestige, and altering substances. Her large, sightless eyes were fixed on him, listening as he refilled their cups. She took another sip before she answered.
"You sound like someone who maybe wants to be caught. You think you can't be, but it sounds like a challenge. What would life look like if that were to happen? No doubt you'd find death on the other end of that discovery. We are so quick to wound and kill instead of help. "There are ways to change ourselves before the pieces all fall to the ground. Some people need that jolt, though." And unfortunately, Sasha believed Wolfgang was that type. The type who needed to hit rock bottom before growth could occur. A forest that had to burn down to grow anew.
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Post by Val on Aug 19, 2019 0:48:15 GMT
Wolfgang stared at her, suppressing his first instinct, which was to be defensive. Knocking back his drink, he swallowed noisily and leaned forward in his seat, feeling the warmth of the whiskey beginning to numb his body, "Mark my words. Catching me will start a chain reaction of events that everyone will come to regret,"
A purposely ominous silence followed his words as he took a long moment to study her, suddenly craving the experience they had shared earlier that day, "Will you be on my side, if the time comes? Or will you turn a blind eye?" he wondered, the irony clearly not lost on him.
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Post by Elvander on Aug 19, 2019 19:42:05 GMT
She snorted with laughter at his little joke, but she was serious about her commitment to him, whatever that looked like. She nodded solemnly, her smile fading. "You can count on me, Van Dam. I don't have much going for me, but I am a loyal person, when I feel that my faith has been earned." Sasha sipped her drink, wondering if he'd had enough of their conversation. "You can count on my to stand up in your defense, if my opinion means anything to anyone. But you can also trust me to hold the words spoken between us private. I will not be starting any gossip or sharing what you've chosen to reveal to me."
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Post by Val on Aug 19, 2019 21:18:41 GMT
"I am grateful for that," Wolfgang conceded. He'd expected this response from her, but it still felt good to hear her say it out loud. He was not used to having someone so fully aware of his secrets and yet completely on his side, "And, if it means anything to you, I shall stand up in your defense, whatever the situation might be," he vowed.
Almost as soon as the words left his lips, he pushed his chair back and stood, "I have some things to take care of before we continue this process. I shall return tomorrow evening," He started for the door and hesitated after swinging it open, the creak of the hinges breaking the silence, "Thank you, Sasha," he uttered before disappearing into the night.
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