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Post by starrea on Mar 23, 2020 16:28:04 GMT
Lennox didn’t think she would ever be as casual about death as Xander seemed to be. The question hadn’t caused the slightest reaction and she wondered why he was so casual about something so permanent. When Lennox has been little, she used to scream and cry every time a bug died, but as she grew up she learned about the necessity of death. Even if death wasn’t an end, nothing was ever the same afterwards.
Since Xander didn’t ask her to explain, she didn’t bother. Her logic only needed to make sense to her. Talking about her beliefs was usually a long conversation anyway and she didn’t have the energy to do it justice right then.
She hesitated as she considered passing his next question, only because she knew it was a roundabout way to get her to talk about her sickness. In the end she decided it was a just question, but she gave a pointed look, a silent reminder not to push it.
“No. I don’t really know. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s not. Most of the time it’s good, though.” She said with a shrug, not willing to expand further than that. Anxiety trickled through her as she tried to appear calm, but the thought of him knowing anything, even just that little bit, made her jittery.
“Is it just going to be you and me?” She asked quickly, mostly to change the subject.
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Post by Val on Mar 24, 2020 6:09:06 GMT
Xander was glad she answered, and it was enough to quell his growing curiosity- for now. At least he didn't have to treat her like some porcelain doll that would crumble at the slightest touch. He did, however, wonder what 'good' meant. He pondered the thought until she asked her next question.
"No," he answered, wondering if that mattered to her, "My friend, Bo, as well." Was Bo his friend? He'd never really thought of it that way until now. The kid had acted as an errand boy for him for several years, but he saw potential in Bo as a loyal ally. "I have some others in mind," he added, making it known that he was recruiting people for his cause.
"Does that bother you?" he asked. Becoming uncomfortable in his position, he rolled over and scooted up against the wall so that he was sitting beside her.
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Post by starrea on Mar 24, 2020 16:26:44 GMT
At the mention of someone else, a wave of jealousy instantly washed over and she noticeably stiffened. Even though her and Xander weren’t that close yet, old habits died hard. When she had been with Stark, just the sight of him talking to someone else made her crazy with jealousy and she was already becoming possessive of Xander. It made their arrangement less meaningful because he didn’t just want her and she pulled her knees up to her chest, trying to hide how sullen she felt.
“No,” She lied, and not even that well because it was all to obvious her sudden shift in mood. She tried to remind herself that Xander wasn’t Stark but that didn’t drive the jealousy away.
“That counts as your question. My turn,” She said quickly, moving on. As she tried to think of a question, her eyes followed Xander as he sat up next to her. In his efforts to get comfortable, their shoulders brushed up against one another and a zap of overstimulated pleasure to the point of discomfort shot through her. Her vision immediately blacked out, which was different than all the times prior where she had slowly faded out. Instead, the inside of the bunker melted away and a hallway, one she had never been in before, came into focus. A man was leading a boy, a much younger boy than him, into a room. The boy wasn’t Xander, she realized, and the boy was clearly in distress. The hallway faded and the room came into focus. The man left and the boy pounded on the door behind him and Lennox realized he had been locked in.
Their shoulders broke apart and Lennox was dropped out of the vision. The nausea that rocked her after these blackouts hit her hard and she leaned over and gagged, trying desperately not to throw up any of the food. After a couple of deep breaths, she managed to keep everything down. She leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes, trying to ride the rest of the nausea out.
“Where is Bo now? Does he have a dad or something that locks him in rooms?” She asked after a moment, eyes still closed.
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Post by Val on Mar 24, 2020 23:20:57 GMT
Xander arched a brow at her weak answer, sensing jealousy as she curled in on herself. Admittedly, he liked the idea of her being jealous over his divided attention. Luckily for her, he saw Lennox and Bo in very different lights, not that he was going to share that with her.
Feeling Lennox tense beside him, he turned and stared as her eyes went blank. He watched in bewilderment as she appeared to plunge into one of her episodes without warning, growing increasingly nervous as he waited for her to snap out of it. What had he done now? Glancing between them, it dawned on him that their shoulders were touching ever so slightly, even though they were both fully clothed.
He cursed and immediately shifted away from her, putting a good foot of empty space between them. He exhaled with relief as she came to, "Lennox? I'm sorry. I didn't know..." he fumbled for the right words as she gagged, still confused over the fact that it was sensitive enough to effect her even without skin to skin contact.
The rest of his apology was cut short as she questioned him, "Bo?" he asked, trying to make sense of the seemingly random question, "No, no. Bo has no family," he answered. His eyebrows drew together as began to put the pieces in place, "Why? What did you see?" he questioned, leaning forward the slightest bit.
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Post by starrea on Mar 25, 2020 2:34:22 GMT
The nausea wasn’t fading and she had to expend a great deal of effort to keep her breathing even and her food down. She kept her head leaned back against the wall and eyes closed and tried not to move as she prayed that the nausea would soon dissipate.
Lennox didn’t have the energy to try to think of some way to explain what had happened. If Xander could put some of the pieces together, so be it. All she could focus on was not throwing up.
“Longish brown hair, for a boy, thin, kinda scruffy looking...” She trailed off as she tried to remember details about the boy but the vision had only been a couple of seconds long, “Another man forced him into a room and locked the door. It wasn’t you, so I guessed it was Bo since we were talking about him.”
The nausea finally receded enough that Lennox opened her eyes to look at Xander, completely unconcerned with the fact that she saw a man lock a younger boy in a room. A small part of her would have been a little happy if it was Bo because then he was already out of the picture without her even having to meet him. Either way, it didn’t concern her and she didn’t have any desire to read more into it.
“I don’t remember whose turn it was. But you just asked a question so it’s my turn. Have you shown Bo this place?” Lennox couldn’t help but ask. Now that her nausea had faded, her jealousy swirled in the pit of her stomach and she grasping for anything to prove that she meant more to Xander than Bo did.
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Post by Val on Mar 26, 2020 1:24:59 GMT
Xander only grew more alert as she described Bo to a tee, wondering what exactly Lennox was capable of. He sat up straight and stared at her as she recovered from the bout of nausea, a million questions flooding his mind. He felt anger wash over him at the idea of Bo being locked away by stranger. If anyone was locking the kid up, it would be him.
"What?" he interjected when she uttered a now irrelevant question. If Bo was in danger, he now considered it his responsibility. After all, if he couldn't protect his friends, what good was he? "No, he's never been here," he answered shortly, pushing himself up off the bed.
He paced a few steps and them turned back to her, "I don't know what you're capable of, but if you think you saw Bo in danger, you need to tell me more," he insisted, his eyes serious. The game was over, as far as he was concerned. "Where was he locked up? Describe what you saw," he told her adamantly. He'd fed and housed and been nothing but kind to her, so he expected her cooperation, even if she refused to divulge the details of her ability.
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Post by starrea on Mar 26, 2020 2:12:55 GMT
Lennox was genuinely surprised with how concerned Xander seemed to get. She was almost a little insulted when he practically blew off her question and pushed himself off the of the bed, suddenly tense and serious. Another jab of jealousy ripped through her and she scowled as he started snapping demands at her.
“I don’t know where it was, I didn’t see much. We only touched for a few seconds so it was cut short. All I saw was a hallway with a really high ceiling and the room, that’s it.” She crosses her arms over her chest, knowing that her information was less the useful. Too bad for him because it really was all she had. Anyway, she had been in far too many troublesome situations to count and had always made it out to the other side. If Bo didn’t make it, well then that was just natural selection.
Just because Xander had fed her didn’t mean that she owed him anything. He had explicitly said that she didn’t so she was going to be damned if he turned that around on her. She should have never taken the food. Even when people say something, they’ll go right on ahead and do the exact opposite.
“I’m sure he’s fine.” Lennox added but it was clear she didn’t really understand why he was so worked up about this. No one had ever cared about her like this and the jealousy ripped through her again. She pushed herself off of the bed, blowing by Xander with every intention to just leave but then she realized she needed his help to guide her out.
“I think I want to go home now.” She said pointedly, waiting for him at the doorway.
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Post by Val on Mar 29, 2020 0:58:32 GMT
Xander halted his pacing and watched her incredulously as she moved toward the door. Her jealousy was nearly tangible, but he refused to believe that she would be so selfish over something as insignificant as his attention. He sighed and relaxed his shoulders, trying not to appear angry over her uncooperative behavior. There was no way in hell he was going to let her go just because she wasn't getting her way.
He approached Lennox slowly, searching her eyes, "Why don't you want to help me?" he questioned, appearing disheartened over the fact, "That's what friends do; they help each other," he pointed out, "If Bo is in danger, then I should help him. I'd do the same for you."
He leaned up against the door frame and considered her words. If their touch had been too brief, then perhaps they could push her ability further with prolonged contact. Now that he was focused on the task, he wondered if it would allow her to see more clearly. It was the perfect opportunity for her to discover her limits, but he was hesitant to scare her off.
Slowly, he raised a hand in offering, "Find out what you're capable of," he encouraged her, letting his hand hang between them, waiting for her touch.
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Post by starrea on Mar 29, 2020 3:17:12 GMT
Xander’s reaction suddenly made Lennox’s jealousy seem childish and it extinguished her resistance. She visibly softened as Xander walked towards her, nodding along to his words. She hadn’t actually had anyone help her when she was in that much trouble but the thought that Xander would do that for her was soothing. She still didn’t really care Bo, though, and even if she did, she really didn’t know where he was. And she was about to point that out, too, when Xander extended his hand towards her.
For a long second, she just stared at his hand. She hadn’t really considered trying to indulge her abilities, not since it affected her health so greatly. There were so many what-ifs. What if she couldn’t control what she saw? What if she didn’t even see anything, what if she just felt things? What if she got sick? What if things changed again? Lennox has just figured out that being around Xander was good, it helped her stay healthy. She didn’t know what it was about him but the Universe had decided that he was her cure. So far, every time she thought she figured something out, it changed and she was reaching the end of her ability to cope with all of this. She couldn’t handle another change.
Even though there were so many reasons to say no, she found herself hesitating. Lennox had always been an underdog. She was just an under-nourished, homeless, bizarre girl that people forgot about by the time they got home for dinner. So Xander’s words triggered something in her, a fire she hadn’t known she had. No one had ever asked her to see what she was capable of and now that the question had been posed, she was curious. She herself didn’t even know what she capable of because before this very moment, she hadn’t thought she was capable of anything.
Before she could change her mind, Lennox grabbed Xander’s hand. The drop from consciousness was instantaneous. Images flashed before her but they were too blurry and the colors all washed together. Snippets of conversation blended together, some of it so quiet that she couldn’t make anything out and some of it so loud that the words rattled around her head long after.
It was chaos. Panic started to spread through her as she realized she had no control over what was happening and with her rising panic, the images only got more chaotic. She couldn’t make sense of anything she was seeing or hearing but she couldn’t pull away. She was frozen, fingers securely intertwined with Xander‘s, and stuck being assaulted by the increasingly chaotic visions.
Lennox realized she needed to focus. She concentrated, trying to focus on Bo. The more she focused, the slower and clearer the visions became. Blobs of color slowly morphed into recognizable objects and people and words stopped blending together. She focused more, fueled by her small victory, and let herself be immersed in the next vision that came.
Unlike the previous visions, where she felt like an audience member watching a play, she let herself be dropped into this vision. A crowded street surrounded her, some sort of marketplace. Movement caught her attention and she saw Bo. He passed a cart and Lennox almost missed it, but she saw him steal something. An older man behind him hadn’t missed it either.
It was getting harder to focus and she could feel it slipping away. She pressed on. She tried to skip ahead, she needed to see where the man took Bo. Everything started to blur together but just before she fell out of the vision, she saw it - a castle.
Lennox abruptly fell out of the vision, her hand dropping from Xander’s as she immediately doubled over and vomited all of the food she had just eaten. Even after all of the food had been purged, she retched and retched. The nausea did not pass and she was forced to lean on the doorframe to keep herself upright. Every little movement threatened to send her retching again but she knew she had nothing left to throw up and she really didn’t want to throw up stomach acid.
“A castle. He’s in a castle.” She murmured when she finally felt like she could talk, eyes closed.
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Post by Val on Apr 1, 2020 2:26:44 GMT
Xander waited patiently as she mulled over the decision, imagining the battle that was ensuing in her mind. His hand remained still between them, a silent and tempting offer. Slowly but surely, he witnessed the build up and, finally, the captivating moment in which she gave in. His fingers curled around her hand, holding it lightly as she plunged into what he could only imagine as some sort of mysterious realm. The combination of curiosity and anticipation was enough to drive him mad, but he forced himself to focus on Bo, intent on helping her in any way he could.
As time stretched on, he considered pulling away, worried he would suck the life right out of her or something. But before he could do anything, Lennox snapped back to reality and released his hand. He jumped backwards just in time to avoid her vomit making impact with his shoes. He stood silently, allowing her distance as he stared at her with a look of obvious fascination.
"A castle," he repeated, feeling undeniably triumphant, even if he didn't yet know if any of this was true. Now that he had obtained the information, it suddenly occurred to him just how bad of shape Lennox appeared to be in. "Don't move," he murmured, slipping out the door past her. He returned moments later with a canteen of water and a towel, which he threw over vomit. He would deal with that later.
"Sit down," he gestured toward one of the beds, resisting the urge to touch her again. The restriction was going to become rather annoying, he realized. He offered her the water and continued to study her, "You okay?" he asked, pausing for only a moment before he continued, "I'm going to confirm what you've seen," he promised, "If it's true...well, you're brilliant, Lennox." He couldn't help but smile a bit despite her condition, beaming almost proudly, "Was it worth it?"
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Post by starrea on Apr 1, 2020 19:56:01 GMT
Lennox could hear Xander moving around her but all she could focus on was the unwavering nausea that gripped her. She tried to be as still as she could but even breathing threatened to induce another round of retching.
Lennox remembered how she used to cry every time she got sick when she had been little. Lennox had always been a crier, but she used to be damn near inconsolable when she had thrown up. She could still hear her mother singing softly to her and feel her sister pull her hair back and she suddenly teared up. Even though Lennox had a turbulent relationship with her mother and barely remembered her sister, the thought of being sick without them there to comfort her was threatening to make her cry. It was starting to become too exhausting to deal with all of her health problems on her own.
When she felt herself tear up she squeezed her eyes shut harder, determined not to let them fall. Everything had changed since she had been a child, most of all Lennox, and she didn’t cry that much anymore. The seconds dragged on and she finally started to regret what she had done. She had finally, after days of being deathly ill, finally started to feel better and now she went and screwed it up. She had to be the world’s biggest moron.
Lennox didn’t immediately move when he told her to sit. Just the idea of moving made her stomach turn and it took her several seconds to settle herself before she shuffled over to the bed and collapsed on it. She finally looked at Xander, registering his approval but being too nausea to give a damn. She snorted when he asked her if it was worth it. The answer was immediate - “No.” She didn’t even know Bo, but as far as she was concerned, he was to blame for how sick she was feeling right now.
The wheels in her head started turning as she thought more about Bo and her vision. She did have a semblance of control over what she saw, that much was clear. So far, seeing things had made her sick and not seeing things had cured her but she didn’t know how to choose between whether she saw something or didn’t.
She didn’t bother to wait and explain her thought process to Xander before her hand shot out and latched onto his wrist. This time, though, she closed her eyes. She willed herself not to look. She focused on the blackness and blocked out any images that wanted to appear.
And... it worked. No images, no visions, nothing. Instead, she felt the warmth from Xander travel from her finger tips and up her arm and finally gently washed her nausea away. She held on a second longer before finally let go, only opening her eyes when she was satisfied that the nausea wouldn’t come back. She didn’t feel great, not like before, but she wasn’t going to throw up and that was good enough.
Now that she wasn’t sick, the pride of being able to control something in her life - especially since as of late, she had virtually no control over anything - was immensely satisfying. She stared at Xander, finally able to bask in the glow of his approval.
“I’m right,” She sassed, surprisingly confident despite the fact that she hadn’t tested her theory. That was what faith was, though, it was believing without necessarily seeing and she had faith in the Universe.
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Post by Val on Apr 5, 2020 3:27:43 GMT
Xander watched her struggle over the nausea, finally starting to feel sympathetic. He knew what it was like to feel horrible all the time; he'd been a sickly child and his bad habits only contributed to the constant battle his body always seemed to be fighting. When she collapsed onto the bed, he felt compelled to comfort her, hold her, even just push her hair out of her face. He'd never taken care of someone in his entire life. In fact, he could hardly take care of himself. But there was something about gaining Lennox's trust that made him actually want to be there for her. Despite this, he knew he wasn't supposed to touch her, so he just sat there and stared.
When she suddenly grabbed him, he couldn't even begin to make sense of her mixed signals. He remained still, his curiosity only building as she closed her eyes and appeared to visibly relax. When it was all over, he raised a brow at her in obvious confusion, "We'll see about that." As always, Xander was a see-it-to-believe-it kind of guy.
"You've got to be honest with me. I repulse you one second, and soothe you the next. Can I touch you or not?" he questioned abruptly. His impatience was beginning to show in light of the frustrating situation. He didn't like the idea of constantly having to second guess himself around her.
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Post by starrea on Apr 5, 2020 18:37:16 GMT
Lennox recoiled as he snapped at her, instantly becoming defensive. It wasn’t her fault that she was this way. She had been doing everything in her power to navigate her changing reality and Xander’s words only confirmed why she had tried so hard to keep this a secret. If she couldn’t understand what was happening to her, no one else would.
At the same time, she didn’t really have any other option than to put it all out there. He knew enough that if they were really going to be a family, she needed to fill in the blanks and hope that he wouldn’t push her away.
It took her a minute to work up the courage to say anything. She hated being this vulnerable and she mentally prepared herself for his ridicule.
“Okay... this is everything. It all started a couple of months ago, and I started to be able to see the energy around people and things. It was... beautiful and abstract and I could touch it and it was the most amazing feeling. But not all of it was good energy. Then things started to change and I stopped being able to see the energy, but I could feel it when I touched someone. Everyone has a different feel to them. Some of them hurt. Some of them don’t.” She paused, watching for any reaction before she continued, “and then I started to get sick. Really, really sick. Like, coughing up blood and constantly vomiting sick. The only thing that helped was touching people and having their energy heal me. Some people healed me more than others but I always get sick after a couple of hours.”
Lennox stopped there, taking another long pause. It was clear that it was hard for her to tell him all of this. “Then you came. And I’ve never felt anything like you. When you touch me, you have the most amazing energy and I can feel you healing my sickness. And after you, I stay healthy for days, not hours. And you don’t repulse me. It’s just that it started changing again, and now when I touch someone I can see things, and that makes me sick. But just now... I chose not to look. I just felt you. It’s like you’re my cure.”
Lennox looked down, cheeks red with embarrassment. The words sounded even stupider out loud and she started to backtrack, “I’m sorry. None of this makes sense and it’s stupid anyway. I’ll figure it out. But don’t worry about trying to avoid touching me, I’ll just figure it out.”
If she knew where they were, Lennox would have made a run for it. She couldn’t remember the last time she had voluntarily made herself so vulnerable and she couldn’t help but feel small. She didn’t look up at him because she couldn’t, she wasn’t strong enough to see what his reaction was.
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Post by Val on Apr 6, 2020 1:55:32 GMT
Xander listened intently, his expression revealing nothing each time she glanced at him. When he was genuinely invested in something, he could focus and invest every ounce of his attention on it. Right now, that something was Lennox. The explanation was exactly what he needed. Now that her truth was all laid out before him, he felt like there was no going back. If she thought he was her cure, then that was what he would be, no questions asked.
He watched the flush of her cheeks and his fascination grew into something else. It was a foreign emotion, one that made his stomach flutter and his mouth go dry. It dawned on him that her embarrassment was cute; she was cute. It was an innocent observation, but one he'd generally ignored when it came to other girls. Now, though, he felt compelled to reach out to her.
Since he'd been given permission, he reached out and tilted her chin up with a light touch of his finger tips, looking into her eyes, "It's okay. I get it. I think," he added with a boyish smirk. He gazed at her for a long moment, wanting her to understand that he held no judgement. Then, he wrapped his arms around her and enveloped her in a hug. She looked like she needed one, and so did he.
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Post by starrea on Apr 6, 2020 3:28:47 GMT
Xander’s touch sent shockwaves of warmth down her body and she let him tilt her head back to meet his gaze. When he pulled away, she couldn’t help but wish he hadn’t. He was turning into a drug her body craved and every touch was a high.
His acceptance of her washed over, physically relaxing the tension in her body she didn’t even realize she had. His touch was one thing, but the acceptance from someone, especially someone who knew the whole truth was a monumental relief. For the first time in months, Lennox felt like she could breathe. She didn’t have to do this alone anymore. With Xander around, she probably wouldn’t even get sick again and that thought alone was enough to make her tear up with gratitude. For the first time since this all started, things didn’t feel so out of control and it was all because of Xander.
His hug was unexpected and it took Lennox a second to wrap her arms back around him. She hadn’t been hugged in awhile and she was still reeling after everything that had happened in the last five minutes but she squeezed him back tightly. Everywhere their skin touched, warm shockwaves traveled down her body. Beyond that, she hadn’t allowed herself to trust anyone like that since Stark and she had forgotten how good it felt to have someone to rely on. She might have been skeptical before but now Lennox was all in.
“Thank you,” She whispered after a long moment, not releasing him from the hug immediately. She craved the acceptance and intimacy and the physical high she was getting from him. “I’ll never be able to make it up to you, but I’ll try.” Lennox promised, and she never broke a promise.
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